im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
