I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
