If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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