doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
is wine microwaveable?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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