Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's rum buckets o'clock
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
