You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
