I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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