Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
And then he peed in my hair
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
