We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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