My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
