filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I touched a dick in church today
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
