you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
