I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
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