He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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