dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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