**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
