Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize