I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
