Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
