this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
