i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
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