And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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