No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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