i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
