Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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