i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
