so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
