I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
be right there i have to get my cape
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
