i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
