the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
