The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
