Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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