Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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