Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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