Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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