Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
