Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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