remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
