As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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