i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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