Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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