I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
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