and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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