We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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