help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
