nut hugger
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
