So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
