I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Randomize
