Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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