Nicole vs. Life
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
