I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
